Several weeks ago I was listening to an audio book and the author references a seminar he went to. The speaker asked the audience, “What percentage of shared responsibility do you have in making a relationship work?”. “50/50?” the author stated. Someone else in the audience yelled out, “80/20?”
This question got me thinking as I was driving. “Of course, it has to be 50/50,” I thought. The speaker turned towards his easel, in large black letters wrote 100/0. “You have to be willing to give 100% with zero expectation in return,” he said.
In the car I was shocked! “Did I hear that correctly?” I listened to the same section over again thinking I misheard what he said. The audio book continued, “Only when you are willing to take 100 percent responsibility for making the relationship work, will it work. Otherwise, a relationship left to chance will always be vulnerable to disaster.”
One can apply this rule to any aspect of their life: nutrition, fitness, career, financial, relationship, or family. You have to be willing to take complete responsibility for everything that happens in your life.
Taking Back Control of Your Life
I can definitely say that I do not take full responsibility for what happens in my life. I always have some excuse for everything that happens. When I really evaluated this part of myself I was astounded by how many excuses I make. Realizing how much energy you can spend on doing this is unreal.
Have you ever blamed a teacher for a bad grade on an assignment? Maybe you should have studied harder. Upset because you are overweight? Maybe you shouldn’t have had super-sized that meal at McDonald’s last night or the one last week. Didn’t get that job you applied for? Maybe you should’ve practiced your interviewing skills.
Instead of worrying about what the next person is doing. I’m going to take control of my life by focusing on me and my goals. By focusing on my family and how to make us a stronger unit. If someone I know has some type of success in their life I need to be genuinely happy for them as I now know that being successful is something that just doesn’t happen overnight. We are not there when that person is tirelessly working out at 5 am every morning, or studying every night to get their graduate degree online. I’m choosing to look at their success to fuel my own.
For the last three weeks when I catch myself making excuses I own up to it, figure out a way fix it, and moving on. I feel my whole world shifting to such a positive place. I feel empowered that I can control everything that happens to me and how I let it affect me. How I can also decide how to react to something that is done to me.
What about you? What are some things you make excuses for that you can take full responsibility for starting today?
I love this and am trying to implement the same in my life!
I love to hear that Amy! I can’t wait to have some time to talk to you more about how it’s going!
Wise words, Gretchen! I especially love this part: “If someone I know has some type of success in their life I need to be genuinely happy for them… I’m choosing to look at their success to fuel my own.” In this world of social media and every positive thing being shared online, it’s easy to be jealous of someone else’s success. However, we HARDLY ever know the details of what got them to that step, and you know what? Their path will certainly be different than our own, so it doesn’t matter! The only way for us to achieve true happiness is to be satisfied with what we have in this life and not constantly be comparing ourselves to our neighbors. As you say, one of the key steps to living this way is taking ownership of our own actions! Don’t envy your neighbor’s success- rather, look at it from a different angle… “what can I do to land an exciting job?” “What changes in my life do I need to make to be healthier?” Love it!
Yes! Once I came to terms with that my entire perspective has changed! You get me!
I’ve listen to that audio book too 🙂
It’s a great book! I’ve read it twice already!