Dear Stay at Home Mom

Dear Stay at Home Mom,

I remember when I was growing up I always heard debates and people on TV arguing about whether being a stay at home mom or a working mom was best. Having four children in four years has given me a little perspective on the topic of this ongoing argument. Why are we enemies? Why is the media always putting us up against each other? Why do we put each other down?

With all the questions that come to mind, I want to say something… I’m sorry. I’m sorry that after finding out you are a stay at home mom people proceed to tell you, ”Aww..it must be so nice to stay at home with the kids,” or “I wish I could have that much free time,” and of course the “I wish I could stay in my pajamas all day.” These are only a handful of comments I’ve heard, but I bet you’ve heard these and much more. Having multiple children and being on the other end as a working mother, I know both of our decisions come with positives and negatives. But, I want to commend you. You are with your little ones 24 hours a day. Day in and day out without out a “scheduled” lunch break, or even a paid vacation. Paid vacation?! What about getting paid at all! Whether you felt it in your heart to stay home with your little ones or if it was the best choice for your family it wasn’t easy.

I think being a stay at home mom is really the hardest job of them all. There isn’t enough recognition for your time and effort in raising your children. Staying up all night with a little one only to have to wake up at 6 am and get the rest of the family up and on their way. Breakfast made, clothes laid out, and you’re completely exhausted by 9 am.

My only glimpse of experiencing what you go through on a daily basis is the weekends. I can barely keep up. I try to make myself a cup of coffee while making the kids breakfast and either get side tracked with a dirty diaper or a tantrum. My coffee sits cold and untouched until 10:30 am… if I’m lucky. What about when I finish making breakfast and pick up the kitchen only to have to think of what I’m going to make for lunch. THE KITCHEN NEVER STOPS. The diaper changing becomes a blur. “Oh, I have spit up on my shirt? Not sure if that was from yesterday or today.” The house also somehow gets messier by the minute. Getting excited to have an “adult” conversation with your spouse when they get home, only to realize today is one of many nights they are going to come home late from work. You are handling every aspect of the household – laundry, dishes, grocery shopping, and finances, are only a handful that comes to mind.

So, I applaud you and want to say, “thank you,” for doing a great job. A job that many of us couldn’t do. The scarifies you and your family make on a daily basis for you to stay home are countless and don’t go unnoticed. As a working mom know that I’m rooting for you. On your best days or even on the days you’re exhausted and have to put yourself in “mommy time out” to get a couple minutes to yourself. We need to stick together and support each other through motherhood, no matter what job title we have.