One thing I’ve learned from being a mom of twins is that people are absolutely fascinated with twins. And trust me I get it—two babies born at once. But as many moms know, for some reason people tend not to have much of a filter when asking pregnant people questions. Well…twin moms have it worse. Here are some of the ones we here all the time.
“Did you conceive with fertility medicine?”
I think this one is one of my favorites. Whether someone is pregnant with one child or multiple, it’s not appropriate to ask if the pregnancy was planned. On top of this, please do not ask if someone conceived twins naturally or with fertility medicine. This is a subject that is too personal, and at the end of the day why does this matter?
Someone that I knew personally asked me this knowing that I had two other pregnancies back to back!
“I always wanted twins!”
Really?! I can say I never honestly wanted twins, and when we found out we were in complete shock! The pregnancy was really nerve-wracking because it is considered high risk. I had to go to my regular doctor as well as a specialist every month.
Most twins are also born premature, because of this they tend to have more complications. It’s very rare that twins are born and do not visit the NICU.
Lastly, having twins is so difficult. Consoling two crying babies, breastfeeding twins simultaneously, and going anywhere with twins is absolutely crazy! The simple logistics of going anywhere is magnified.
“Glad it was you and not me!”
Gee thanks…I think? I understand the initial shock that many parents feel when you see someone with twins. It’s unimaginable having to consider to take care of two kids at once yet alone four altogether! Would you ever walk up to someone that was going through something challenging and say this?
“You’re going to have your hands full!”
Ok, this one was pretty funny. When I was pregnant with the twins and people would ask me what I was having and I mentioned boys, they would always tell me how I was going to have my hands full. Come on people I know I’m going to have my hands full, do I really need to be reminded of this every single time? It was funny of course because they were not aware that I had an 18-month-old and almost 3 years old. Ha! Fooled you.
“You got 2 for the price of 1!”
Did I really? The twins don’t share much. They have their own clothes, cribs, etc. I did have 1 pregnancy, but in terms of money we had to buy double the formula, food, diapers, car seats, sitter fees, and pay a deductible for each when going to the doctor.
Twins are definitely unique and exciting to meet, but instead of asking these personal questions or comments, a simple congratulation’s or even a few words of encouragement go a long way!
Do you have twins? What crazy questions do you get asked?