Several weeks ago I was listening to an audio book and the author references a seminar he went to. The speaker asked the audience, “What percentage of shared responsibility do you have in making a relationship work?”. “50/50?” the author stated. Someone else in the audience yelled out, “80/20?”
This question got me thinking as I was driving. “Of course, it has to be 50/50,” I thought. The speaker turned towards his easel, in large black letters wrote 100/0. “You have to be willing to give 100% with zero expectation in return,” he said.
In the car I was shocked! “Did I hear that correctly?” I listened to the same section over again thinking I misheard what he said. The audio book continued, “Only when you are willing to take 100 percent responsibility for making the relationship work, will it work. Otherwise, a relationship left to chance will always be vulnerable to disaster.”
One can apply this rule to any aspect of their life: nutrition, fitness, career, financial, relationship, or family. You have to be willing to take complete responsibility for everything that happens in your life.
Taking Back Control of Your Life
I can definitely say that I do not take full responsibility for what happens in my life. I always have some excuse for everything that happens. When I really evaluated this part of myself I was astounded by how many excuses I make. Realizing how much energy you can spend on doing this is unreal.
Have you ever blamed a teacher for a bad grade on an assignment? Maybe you should have studied harder. Upset because you are overweight? Maybe you shouldn’t have had super-sized that meal at McDonald’s last night or the one last week. Didn’t get that job you applied for? Maybe you should’ve practiced your interviewing skills.
Instead of worrying about what the next person is doing. I’m going to take control of my life by focusing on me and my goals. By focusing on my family and how to make us a stronger unit. If someone I know has some type of success in their life I need to be genuinely happy for them as I now know that being successful is something that just doesn’t happen overnight. We are not there when that person is tirelessly working out at 5 am every morning, or studying every night to get their graduate degree online. I’m choosing to look at their success to fuel my own.
For the last three weeks when I catch myself making excuses I own up to it, figure out a way fix it, and moving on. I feel my whole world shifting to such a positive place. I feel empowered that I can control everything that happens to me and how I let it affect me. How I can also decide how to react to something that is done to me.
What about you? What are some things you make excuses for that you can take full responsibility for starting today?