With Dustin and I celebrating our 12 year anniversary of when we started dating, I’ve really been reflecting on the time that we’ve been together.
While I’ve been reflecting I’ve realized as a mom, when I get stressed out I’ve learned to lean on God and always ask him to give me some grace. Grace to take a step back, to reevaluate, and to not yell at the kids.
I’ve also extended that grace to myself. When I have a lot on my plate and I feel like I’m putting too much pressure on myself to get everything done. Yet, the grace I’ve asked God for countless of times, I don’t seem to extend to my husband.
Many times after a long day I’m quick to point out all the negatives…what my spouse forgot to do or that he didn’t notice we were running low on eggs and milk so he could pick up at the store. Why are we so quick to assume, pass judgments, and ridicule the one person that we are supposed to love and cherish the most? Why are we harder on their mistakes than our own?
In the hustle and bustle of everyday life, we forget that our husbands are imperfect human beings… like us
they will make mistakes…like us
they will get stressed out…like us
they may feel overwhelmed..like us
they will have bad days…like us
We have the tendency to want the other person to be a finished product while we give ourselves the grace to evolve. – T.D. Jakes
I know I’m guilty of jumping the gun, instead of acknowledging that my husband needs my grace extended to him.
In addition, aren’t the times that we make mistakes one of the best opportunities to learn something, grow, and evolve? When mistakes are made it really exposes your marriage and these times you have to really step up to the plate to fix the problem.
Many of us will think, “Why should I extend this grace toward him when he doesn’t deserve it? He doesn’t extend his grace toward me and always gets frustrated with me when I do something wrong.”
“For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith — and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God” (Ephesians 2:8, NIV).
So, how do you feel when you make a mistake? Do you get defensive (guilty), do you make excuses? When I make a mistake, (ie the time I put the car in drive instead of reverse and ran into the corner of the garage…) I called Dustin and said, “Listen I did something bad, and I feel horrible so please don’t be mad at me.” It feels pretty crummy to make a mistake so remember to react to their mistakes like you would like them to react to yours.
Remember that God’s grace is a gift and many times a gift we don’t deserve. Most importantly remember that when we give a gift to someone else we don’t expect anything in return. Just know that you are working on improving your marriage through your actions and you have the blessing of waking up every day to give the gift of grace to the person that you said “I do” to.